Self Discovery

Phil lived his life as a self centered jerk, and went by his own book. He only cared about himself, and did not think about other people’s feelings or concerns. However, when Phil was living the same day over and over again, he started the process of leaving the cave. Phil’s situation relates very closely to my own life because I had to face the real world every single day when my father died. Since he could no longer hold me back, I learned something new every single day. The more I explore the world the more I was able to escape from my cave. Just like Phil’s experience, the process of self discovery was not a quick one. It took many years to discover myself, and figure out who I am.

For example, Phil kept making wrong choices, which caused him to live the Ground Hog day all over again. This kept happening until he got everything right. Relating to my situation, my earlier days were long and hard. I kept making the wrong choices because I kept walking down the wrong paths. When I woke up the next morning, I would get dress, eat breakfast and do it all over again. Unlike Phil, I did not live the same day all over, but I kept making same mistakes as each day passed. When I finally realized that I wasn’t getting anywhere with my life, I started to retrace all of my mistakes, and fix them.

Escaping from your own cave may take years, but it is up to the individual on how long it will take. When we realize that the things we are doing is not getting us anywhere, it becomes the beginning process of escaping our cave.

Fourteen Years of Imprisonment

“The Allegory of the Cave” by Plato is about a prisoner who gets released from a cave. Everything he encounters outside of the cave is new to him because he lived most of his life in the cave. The chains on his neck and feet made him a prisoner of the cave, which prevented him from being a part of society. As I read Plato’s work, it reminded me of a time when I was a prisoner of my own cave.

For the first fourteen years of my life, my father governed my every move. The only thing that I was allowed to do was go to school and come straight home when school ended. He did not let me hang out with my older siblings or my friends. My older siblings always wanted to take me out because they saw how strict our father was to me, but he would never allow it. I thought that I was not allowed to go out with my older siblings because they were doing grown up thing. However, he wouldn’t even let me hang out with my friends. He thought that all of my friends were bad influences. I couldn’t even be myself at home because my father would physically abuse my siblings and I for every little thing. Therefore, the only way to prevent the abuse was to obey all of his commands without questions.  As you can see, I was a prisoner of my own home, which was also my cave.

I was no longer a prisoner of my own cave when my father was no longer with us. He was diagnosed with cancer in the summer of 2000, and passed away not long after. Even though my father was strict and abusive, I did not wish death upon him. As much as he scarred me, I knew that he raised my siblings and I the only way he knew how. My family came to America as refugees, who were forced to leave their homeland to prevent executions. They left everything behind except their culture, morals and beliefs. My father believed that he was raising his children the right way because that was the traditional way in Cambodia. My parents were still new to America, and that was why they did not adapt to the American ways.

When my father passed away, I was allowed to go everywhere and do anything I wanted. However, I felt lost because the outside world was so new to me. I lived in San Francisco my whole life, but I did not know how to get around my own city. I did not know which way to walk or which bus to take. I wanted to do so many things, but I did not know how to do them. However, I learned how to function in society as my friends and family taught me how to get places. Since my chains were broken, it allowed me to go through many life experiences. Honestly, some were terrible, and some were great. I walked down many wrong paths until my mistakes pointed me in the right direction. I am only human, and I make mistakes like everyone else in this world. If I were given a second chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing because I am happy of whom I have become.